Supporting Your Buff After a Student Death

A guide for Buff Families

A student death, especially when a student dies by suicide, can deeply affect a campus community. Even if your student didn鈥檛 know the person who died, they may still be impacted.听

You may feel unsure how to support them from a distance. This guide offers simple ways to show care, recognize what your student might be experiencing and connect with campus support.

What Your Student May Be Experiencing

There鈥檚 no 鈥渞ight鈥 response to a loss like this. Your student may feel:听

  • Shock, numbness or disbelief听
  • Sadness, grief or guilt听
  • Anxiety or feeling on edge听
  • Difficulty focusing on school听
  • Changes in sleep or appetite听
  • Disconnection or withdrawal听

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These reactions can come and go, especially when something reminds them of what happened (like conversations, social media or campus spaces). Some days may feel a little easier, while other moments may bring those feelings back unexpectedly. Everyone responds differently, and it can take time for your Buff to process a loss like this.听

Encourage your student to communicate with their professors if they need support or flexibility in their classes during this time. Counseling & Psychiatric Services (CAPS) can provide a letter to help start that conversation if needed.听听

This disruption may be short term, but if it continues to affect your student, reaching out for additional support can help. Encourage your student to call us at 303-492-2277 to get started.

How You Can Support Your Student

Lead With Presence, Not Solutions

You don鈥檛 need to fix anything. Listening and showing you care is what matters most. You might say:听

  • 鈥淚鈥檓 so sorry this happened.鈥听
  • 鈥淚鈥檓 here for you.鈥听
  • 鈥淗ow can I support you right now?鈥听
  • 鈥淚t鈥檚 okay to feel however you鈥檙e feeling.鈥听

Sometimes just being quiet and present together is enough.听

Avoid Pressure or Judgment

Try to avoid:听

  • Pushing them to 鈥渕ove on鈥听
  • Telling them how they should feel听
  • Minimizing what they鈥檙e experiencing

Grief and trauma don鈥檛 move in a straight line.听

Stay Connected Over Time

Support matters both now and later.听

  • Check in regularly, even after a few weeks or months听
  • Send a quick message to say you鈥檙e thinking of them听
  • Let them know your support doesn鈥檛 have a timeline听
Care for Yourself

Supporting your student can be emotionally difficult, especially from a distance. Taking care of yourself helps you show up for them. You might:听

  • Keep regular routines for sleep and meals听
  • Take breaks from distressing news or social media听
  • Talk with someone you trust听
  • Be patient and compassionate with yourself听
Follow Their Lead

Students respond differently after a loss. Some may want to:听

  • Keep their regular routine听
  • Take a short break from classes or campus听
  • Spend time at home or with friends听
Offer Practical Help

Ask your student what would help and be flexible. You can also offer practical support like:听

  • Sending groceries or meals听
  • Helping them think through academic options听
  • Encouraging rest, food and hydration听

When to Consider Additional Support

Many students lean on friends and family after a loss. Professional mental health support may be needed if your student:听

  • Is struggling to keep up with academics or daily life
  • Has ongoing difficulty sleeping, eating or taking care of themselves听
  • Expresses hopelessness or talks about harming themselves听
  • Is using substances in ways that impact their well-being听

Mental Health Support

CAPS is here to support students who may be experiencing impacts from recent events and other mental health concerns. To access same-day appointments and crisis services, call 303-492-2277 or drop-in during regular business hours. CAPS has crisis phone support available 24/7.听

CAPS also offers Let鈥檚 Talk, which allows students to connect with a counselor for free and confidential drop-in services virtually or in person. Your student can also sign up for free workshops to address issues related to grief, anxiety, self-care, relationships and more.听

Academic Support

Student Outreach, Advocacy & Support (SOAS) works with students facing challenging situations by connecting them to helpful resources and creating a personalized plan to support their well-being and success. There are three ways to refer a student to SOAS:听听

  • Fill out the 听听
  • Call 303-492-7348听听
  • Email the department at soas@colorado.edu听听听

Additional Resources

The Division of Student Life responds to each loss or traumatic event based on the needs of the campus community. Staff work together to coordinate outreach and connect students with support and resources.听

The Office of the Dean of Students partners with students, staff and faculty to help determine what support may be needed and when to offer it. Families can contact the Dean of Students office to learn more about available support by emailing deanofstudents@colorado.edu or calling 303-492-9048.听

Your support can make a meaningful difference, even from afar. You don鈥檛 have to have the perfect words. Showing up, listening and staying connected helps your student feel less alone.听